Hope to be back in some way, shape or form. For now, San Francisco beckons.

(Compare with this Jan. 20 farm update)

(The Swiss chard – bright yellow, magenta, red, white and everything in between – is producing well. However, still battling insidious false garlic that pops up everywhere, as evidenced in the lower left corner)

(Andrew mentioned I haven’t paid any attention to his fava beans. Amazing how fast they’ve grown even though we – er, I – barely water them.)

(Searching for aphids to snack on, among the fava blossoms)

In these next few months, though, I’ll be veering decidedly toward the healthy, green tea-drinking “me.” Andrew is embarking on a new diet due to inflammation-related health concerns, and so, his new eating habits naturally translates to our new eating habits. Which is actually a very good thing, because the non-inflammation approach makes a lot of sense from a healthy eating perspective and doesn’t require one to do anything that’s just plain wacky, like eating steak for breakfast, lunch and dinner.

The premise of the anti-inflammation diet, in a nutshell, is to remove all the stuff that has been known to increase inflammation or allergic or digestive reactions in the body – wheat/gluten, sugar, dairy, caffeine, acidic foods like citrus and tomatoes, etc. – and replace them with lots of fruit, vegetables, beans, fish, good fats and non-wheat whole grains, in order to get your system back to its baseline level. Then, gradually re-introduce these foods one a time, and see how your body reacts. It’s also recommended to avoid processed wheat and refined sugar regardless of whether your system can or can’t tolerate them, but we all know that.

Obviously, the first few months of the diet is the most limiting. Especially since Andrew is allergic to fish.

Aside from the tomatoes and booze (nothing comes between me and my tomatoes and red wine), I can live like this. At least for meals at home.

With these guidelines in mind, a recent dinner went something like this:

(Freshly picked goodies from the garden)

(Young Christmas Lima beans – from our mystery bean plants last year – getting a good soak)

(Zukes, frozen – also from our summer/fall harvest)

(A few more ingredients and voila! A hearty bean and vegetable soup)

–

CHRISTMAS LIMA BEAN AND VEGETABLE SOUP

Ingredients
(add more or less of anything; we created this on the fly, Andrew-style)

1 cup dried Christmas Lima beans, soaked overnight and then dunked in rapidly boiling water for 2-3 minutes
1 large yellow onion, diced
1 1/2 bulbs of garlic, diced – yes, that’s one whole bulb and half of another (see “good” list above)
bunch of celery ribs, diced
4 carrots, sliced or diced
4 14.5 oz. cans of chicken or vegetable broth, plus extra water if needed
2-3 cups kale chiffonade (Swiss chard or collard greens work, too)
2 cups or so zucchini, sliced into half moons or quarters
2 slices turkey bacon, diced (optional)
Dried basil
Olive oil
Salt and pepper
Parmesan cheese (optional)

Directions

Drizzle olive oil in large stock pot; add turkey bacon and brown until crispy. Remove bits and set aside to drain on a paper towel. Add more oil if needed, then onion and garlic and cook briefly, one to two minutes, to release their flavors. Season with salt and pepper. Add celery and carrots; cook for about 5 minutes. Add stock, then beans. Throw in a palm-full of dried basil. Bring to a boil and then simmer, uncovered, for about 45 minutes. Check beans; eat one to make sure they’re cooked through. Add kale and zucchini; bring heat up to medium. Cook for 10 more minutes. Adjust seasonings. Remove from heat and serve with a sprinkle of turkey bacon and Parm. (Cheese for me, none for Andrew.)

What didn’t cross our minds at the time was how our walls would also become Club Med for Snails.

Indeed, all the nooks and crannies are the perfect habitats for these slimy gastropods to gather, stay cool and chillax during the day:

At night, they sneak out and descend on the buffet, leaving telltale evidence of their nocturnal partying in the form of massive holes and shimmery, web-like trails all over the choicest of vegetables:

Crushed eggshells sprinkled around each plant – supposedly the sharp edges would dissuade these soft-bodied beasts from going any farther – didn’t work. Ground cornmeal – apparently they’d eat the grit and it would cause massive pain (i.e. kill them) – didn’t work either. Neither did beer traps – cups of beer sunk into the dirt, in which they’d approach, drink and drown.

After they decimated half of our pea plants, I went to one of the Japanese nurseries on Sawtelle Avenue in West L.A. for replacement seedlings. I explained my snail problem to the owner and he suggested Sluggo Plus, an organic bait that contains snail/slug-killing iron phosphate:

Iron phosphate is an organic compound that is found naturally in the soil, and if the bait is not consumed by a slug or snail, the material breaks down into soil fertilizer. There are also chemical baits that use methaldyhde, but these are toxic to animals (e.g. humans, potentially), so obviously they’re not nearly as safe, and not allowed at our garden, anyway.

But my real gripe: Why oh why do the pellets have to be this bright green color?

So much for trying to keep it low-pro – the last thing I want are nosy gardeners wondering what kind of rat poison I’m using. (The same fear I had when we sprayed down our squash and tomato plants last year with totally natural neon-colored copper fungicide.) There’s got to be a way for organic pest controls to look a little more organic-y, no?

Will report back on the iron phosphate’s efficacy. If this doesn’t work, I don’t know what will. Escargots, anyone?

I decided to harvest the few leaves that were still intact, knowing that if I didn’t, the worms would most surely get to them that very evening. (We’ve also been hitting the plants with fertilizer emulsion regularly, hoping they’ll outgrow the rate of the worms’ voracious appetites.)

(Holey kale … And these were the better leaves)

Unfortunately, we didn’t have enough kale to make any sort of substantial dish. So, the next best thing: crackly, salty kale chips!

Roasted “chips” made out of a green superfood? Too intriguing not to attempt.

Recipes for kale chips abound on the Interwebs, but it’s so easy that having to follow a recipe is kind of unnecessary. How does one roast stuff? With a little oil, salt and heat. So, here’s the deal: Wash, dry and de-stem the leaves, tear into pieces, then toss with a little olive oil (just enough to coat) and sea salt. Arrange in a single layer on an oil-drizzled cookie sheet and pop into a warm oven, say, 180 or 200 degrees. Check every few minutes until they look crispy – about 10 minutes or so – being careful not to burn them. (We had a few burnt ones, and they were bitter.)

The kale chips have a salty, slightly briny flavor – a bit like roasted seaweed. They’re paper-thin, so there’s not much to bite or chew; they sort of dissolve in your mouth. Which makes them rather addicting. Not a bad way to eat a super-vegetable.

Now, for some nostalgia: The kale back in November. Aww.